This is being written for my local council, so I'm going to be quite formal. I am not going to use bullet points because if you write well they are not needed. I'm going to use at least one passive sentence and at least one inversion (Not only do people love this building but also...).
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If you're serious about a proposal, I highly recommend that, in addition to doing your own in-house editing, you hire an independent copyeditor to go over the entire proposal. I use Pure-Text , but I'm sure there are other services that are almost as good.
The executive summary is one of the most important sections in your proposal. This is where you should present the case for why you are the right company for the job, and give the reader the takeaway message of the proposal. You should not try to summarize every aspect of the proposal, but rather focus on the conclusions you want the reader to reach after reading it.